One of the problems with contemporary life is that there are so few opportunities to create a diversion. Diversions are created aplenty in films, comics have loads and they rarely do anything else in cartoons. In fact, I can’t recall the last time I did create a diversion. Who did I divert and what for? Anyway, I intend to make up for this serious shortfall so watch out in the next few days because you may well end up having your attention distracted while the real action is going on elsewhere…
And back to writing. I’ve now penned around 25,000 words of the follow up to All Teachers Great and Small (or ATGAS as the editorial team know it) – my memoir of working in a madcap rural school in the Eighties. It’s slow going and the target of 100k words seems a long way off but it’s fun reliving some of the ludicrous things I got up to in those days as a teacher.
Writing is a lonely occupation and authors tend to get very excited about social events as a result. I’m no exception and will shortly be setting off for the Big City darn sarf to quaff free drinks and scauff multiple canapes at the Headline 25th birthday party. It’s being held at One Marylebone, a former church now converted into a swankier than swank venue, and I expect the place will be heaving with editors, publicists, agents, sales directors, comissioners and even the odd writer. Or very odd writer in my case.
It’s usually hard to hear anyone speak above the rising babble on these occasions and I’m sure that many others, like me, will grin stupidly and nod to all sorts of statements which are completely inaudible but also possibly rude and libellous:
Talker: So you write books?
Me (nodding, unable to hear a word): Hmmm, yes.
Talker: Where are you from?
Me: Yes, yeah.
Talker: I bet they’re rubbish.
Me: Mmmm, that’s right.
Talker: In fact, you’re a complete moron, aren’t you?
Me: (still nodding): Oh, yes.
The only advantage to this state of affairs is that it works both ways. So, tonight I shall head for the nearest celeb author and start mumbling…