If you enjoyed How to Spot a Hadrosaur in a Bus Queue then here are some more interesting and fun lists for you:

 

If the only vowel was o

Rapper:                         Ononom

Newspaper:                   Dooly Mool

Our Monarch:                Tho Quoon

Baby's game:                Poopo

Country:                        Spoon

Clothing:                       Too short

School subject:              Moths

Colour:                          Ponk

Meal:                            Poo & hom soop

TV Show:                      Bog Brothor

3.142                            Po

Nursery Rhyme:              Lottlo Bo Poop

 

 

Dad's Army Catchphrases

'Stupid boy.'                                         Captain Mainwaring

'We're doomed.'                                    Frazer

'Would you mind if I was excused?'        Godfrey

'Ruddy hooligans!'                                Hodges

'Do you think that's wise sir?'                 Sergeant Wilson

'Permission to speak sir.'                       Corporal Jones

'They don't like it up 'em'                       Corporal Jones

'Don't panic!'                                         Corporal Jones

 

 

Big mama boats and ships

 

Vessel	Weighs the same as
The Mayflower	3,000,000 eggs
The Golden Hinde	119 Honda Civics
Cutty Sark	6,600 donkeys
Titanic	650,000 Cliff Richards
The Bismarck	4 Eiffel Towers
Queen Mary II	375 million tins of pea and ham soup
Jahre Viking oil tanker	2.2 billion pairs of long johns

 

 

 

10 Tongue twisters

·         Three free throws

·         Sally Smith's Fish Sauce Shop

·         The boot black bought the black boot back

·         Ed had edited it

·         The Leith Police dismisseth us

·         Rubber baby buggy bumpers

·         Bad money mad bunny

·         Unique New York

·         Chop shops stock chops

·         One smart fellow, he felt smart;

Two smart fellows, they felt smart;

Three smart fellows, they all felt smart.

 

 

Bart Simpson's Blackboard lines

I will not barf unless I'm sick

Funny noises are not funny

I will not bury the new kid

I will not teach others to fly

A burp is not an answer

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

No one is interested in my underpants

Organ transplants are best left to professionals

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not use abbrev.

No one wants to hear from my armpits

"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge

Science class should not end in tragedy

Vampire is not a career choice

 

 

Motorway

Danish              motorvej

Dutch               autoweg

Finnish              pikatie

German             autobahn

Italian                autostrada

Portuguese       via expressa

Serbo-Croatian    autoput

Spanish              autopista

Turkish              otoban

USA                 freeway

 

 

Witty graffiti

·         75% of bishops take The Times - the other 25% pay for it

·         The first three minutes of life can be the most dangerous - the last 3 are pretty dodgy too...

·         In 1066, near this spot, the Normans landed and were repelled by the people of Romney - so am I

·         Perforation is a rip off

·         I never used to be able to finish anything, but now I

·         Down with gravity!

·         Yesterday, I couldn't even spell engineer. Now I are one.

·         Burgers in Berkshire, wine in Wiltshire, Coffee in Cornwall - sick in St. Ives

 

  

What can you do when?

Age 5               You can see a PG film

Age 7               You can draw out money from a savings account

Age 10              You can be convicted of a criminal offence

Age 12              You can buy a pet animal

Age 14              You can go into a pub but not buy a drink

Age 16              You can get married with one parent's consent

Age 17              You can be sent to prison

Age 18              You can buy fireworks

Age 21              You can adopt a child

 

 

11 Spotty things

·         Leopard

·         Dice

·         Polkadot dress

·         Ladybird

·         Fly Agaric mushroom

·         A Georges Seurat painting

·         Genet

·         Spotty from The Bash St Kids

·         Fritillary butterfly

·         Brown trout

·         Teenager